“Surely then you will find delight in the Almighty and will lift up your face to God.” Job 22: 26
Have you ever stopped and pondered about how a couple had the courage to first hold hands or share their first kiss? There is a giddiness that defines the early relationship that will never be the same, or can it?
I have heard that relationships go through ups and downs. We go through good and bad, wonderful blissful moments, and times you really wonder why life is full of blah. Hey, wasn’t there something in our vows that mentioned loving each other through everything life throws at us?
A year or so ago we went to a marriage enrichment Bible study. One of the things that stirred my heart was the phases that a marriage goes through. We have that honeymoon stage and the slipping into comfortable times. We do get use to each other because we spend so much time together day in a day out. You hear so many people who get bored or frustrated with their marriage and call it quits. They say the feelings aren’t there anymore.
The thing about feelings is that they go through phases too. We don’t always feel in love to be in love. It is a commitment that we said we’d uphold. You know what helps me when my feelings are flighty? I remember that all relationships are based on friendships. Yes, we all have to build on a friendship and then it can blossom into something more if it’s meant to. I think like most people, I don’t throw out friendships when I am not feeling like a friend. There are so many reasons why I’m off my game but, none are pressing enough to throw away a friend. They are too hard to find, why would I flippantly cast on off?
My wife is my friend. That’s how I started and I that’s part of the foundations we build our love on.
I also don’t dump family when we don’t agree. You don’t always get to choose our family but, we do choose how we respond to them. I don’t plan on cutting off my family even if we are disagreeing.
My wife is family. She and I have history, children, a home and all that goes with it. Again, its precious and it was by grace. Why would I want to throw that away?
I don’t think we will ever be giddy in love any more. We both have matured and grown into other people. However, we can still grow and learn how to keep things alive. I can slow down, do less, make more time for us, and choose to love even when I don’t feel it happening. Of course, it’s a fight to have a healthy marriage but, one that’s worth fighting for.
Just to put it in perspective, we aren’t tapping into our own strength to make this relationship vibrant. Nope, we are bound with the Lord in our center. Whenever we doubt that our relationship will work, we need to remember its Him, not us, that produce the love we need.
The state of giddiness, what I like to call “giddinessness.” Is it something that can come back? If it can I think it’s something worth trying. With God nothing is totally impossible, right?