By G. P. Avants
“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed in you, because he trusts in you.”
This is one of those blog entries where I wasn’t sure about sharing. I will ask you to bear with me and pardon my length. I will try to get to my point without taking unnecessary jabs, thrusts and parries.
For the past month I have felt inside out. It is as if a fire was burning in my mind and getting to some old long buried issues. The struggle has been the beginnings of depression. I recognize the signs but, wonder why I am going through this now? Again? Yes, this is hard to talk about because as a Christian, shouldn’t I have victory over this once and for all? Why am I still in this “mind field” as it were once again?
I think it’s because someone is turning the heat up. I do not mean global warming or any other environmental condition. I mean the hearts of people are being put under a fire. It is not unlike the crucible that is meant to refine gold and remove the dross. We are being prepared for something coming and this testing of the heart and mind is part of the process.
If I can go back to the mind field for a moment it might make more sense. When a person has a creative imagination they also struggle with their imagination. That is the part of the mind that thinks and over thinks, wonders and worries, studies and is worn from understanding. The mind, for me, is a fantastic destination full of endless possibilities. However, if worry, doubt, and fear decide to pay a visit that beautiful vista of the mind darkens rather quickly. Throw in some anger because things aren’t turning out the way you planned, and you have the makings of a mind at war. Try to sleep and night with those fireworks going off and you get the idea.
When you are uncertain about yourself how can you help others? If you doubt your faith and your own sincerity, where is the peace to pass on to others? It’s a lot of time being slated for self-evaluation when you see the real world on the outside passing you by. There is a time to go through this process, however when depression comes it brings its baggage. It’s not just for a weekend getaway, it wants to move in permanently.
If you bear with me a moment or two longer I think there will be a bright side to this gloomy topic. God knows what He is doing and how to make the most of a bad situation. He knows what is in men’s heart and mind. The Lord knows the right timing to open up and heal an issue in our lives. God is also a master of timing. He knows that the struggles we have will also assist others who are in the same boat. Talk about someone who knows how to get His ducks in a row, the most bang for his buck, etc. He will be there before we quack up and restore a better sanity then we had before. And yes, He can help us get that smile and that sense of humor back. (Can I get an amen, even a feeble, tired one? )
The Lord needs his children ready for whatever comes ahead. The temperature of the hearts of men and women are being cranked up worldwide or in contrast if they ignore it, are becoming colder. There is not medium heat setting here.
We need to be enabled to work in the fire and under pressure so we won’t melt away. That is exactly why we see the junk in ourselves rising to the surface. If you have the Spirit of Christ living in you, He is cleaning house, and replacing it with the real life inside. For some of us who are “sin hoarders”, we have tucked, stuffed, crammed, and impacted our lives with dead rotting things that use to be alive, sort of. That takes time to remove and the Lord knows it. He is ready to kick up the flame and get down to cleaning process. The question is, do you trust Him?
I am telling you now it’s not a pretty site to see your junk coming to he surface. It’s painful when you see yourself as not measuring up to what you think a good Christian is meant to be. You might cry out. “I can’t do this? I am not perfect!”
That is a shock but a very honest statement. None of us are have it together like a “Good Christian” should. We all need the Lord not just for the moment of salvation but, for the rest of our lives. Life is a process that takes all your life to fully appreciate.